It's official. I AM BACK TO WORK! It has been a little crazy I will have to say. Trying to get myself ready, Keldon ready and then go out of my way to take him wherever he needs to go so someone can watch him is a chore in itself. Then to have to muster enough energy to give a few decent massages is a almost more than I can handle. I am starting to realize that I was a bit of a super woman before I had him and now I will have to settle with being an average woman. Not to say average is bad just that I can't expect to be super woman anymore, although I do have to admit that I am trying. We went to a Mexican fiesta the other night that our friend had at his house and we took Keldon with us. We were outside the whole time and he just hung out with us until about midnight and the night before we had movie night with our friends until 1:00am. When we got home I woke him up and fed him and then he slept all night long. Chris and I have always been night owls so it probably isn't that big of a surprise. I will have to tame it down a little though now that I am back to work. I have to conserve every little bit of strength that I have or else when I get home I feel like I got hit with a mack truck. I am trying to work a couple of hours at night. I am going to start out slow for the summer. Chris can be home by 4 some days so I am doing a 5pm and a 6:30 Monday, Tuesday and Thursday and then a couple in the mornings on Wednesday and Friday when I have someone to watch Keldon. I have a couple more girls in my office renting and sharing space...4 girls, 2 rooms which has been interesting to say the least. I am hoping to work on building the business more and focus on marketing and introducing some more retail products to increase cash flow. As much as I love insurance, it would sure be nice to have more clients willing to just pay cash.
My new goal this month is to save more money than I did last month. With the state helping out with Keldon's insurance, formula and a small amount of groceries, I figure I am saving about 300 a month. I am clipping coupons for the regular things we buy and I am committing to buy only what we need at the store instead or what sounds good or the occasional treat that I shouldn't be eating post baby body anyway. Working out is another goal I would like to get to but then reality hits and with an average of 4 hours of sleep and two month old, doing massages and trying to run a business it doesn't seem like a priority right now. I will just wear the one pair of jeans that I can fit into until all the threads break down and I am forced to lose 2 more sizes and get back into the old ones. You laugh but it is so true. Turbo Jam... I haven't forgotten you, we will bond one day.....SOON!
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Friday, June 19, 2009
Day Five: Love is not rude
Nothing irritates others as quickly as being rude. Rudeness is unnecessarily saying or doing things that are unpleasant for another person to be around. To be rude it to act unbecoming, embarrassing, or irritating. In marriage, this could be a foul mouth, poor table manners or a habit of making sarcastic quips. However you look at it, no one enjoys being around a rude person. Rude behavior may seem insignificant to the person doing tit, but it's unpleasant to those on the receiving end.
Do you wish your spouse would quit doing the things that bother you? Then it's time to stop doing the things that bother them. Will you be thoughtful and loving enough to discover and avoid the behavior that causes life to be unpleasant for your mate? Will you dare to be delightful?
1. Guard the Golden Rule. Treat your mate the same way you want to be treated.
2. No double standards. Be as considerate to your spouse as you are to strangers and coworkers.
3 Honor requests. Consider that your husband or wife already asked you to do or not to do. If in doubt, then ask.
Today's Dare: ASK YOUR SPOUSE TO TELL YOU THREE THINGS THAT CAUSE HIM OR HER TO BE UNCOMFORTABLE OR IRRITATED WITH YOU. YOU MUST DO SO WITHOUT ATTACKING OR JUSTIFYING YOUR BEHAVIOR. THIS IS FROM THEIR PERSPECTIVE ONLY.
What things did your spouse point out about you that need your attention? How did you handle hearing it? What do you plan to do to improve these areas?
Do you wish your spouse would quit doing the things that bother you? Then it's time to stop doing the things that bother them. Will you be thoughtful and loving enough to discover and avoid the behavior that causes life to be unpleasant for your mate? Will you dare to be delightful?
1. Guard the Golden Rule. Treat your mate the same way you want to be treated.
2. No double standards. Be as considerate to your spouse as you are to strangers and coworkers.
3 Honor requests. Consider that your husband or wife already asked you to do or not to do. If in doubt, then ask.
Today's Dare: ASK YOUR SPOUSE TO TELL YOU THREE THINGS THAT CAUSE HIM OR HER TO BE UNCOMFORTABLE OR IRRITATED WITH YOU. YOU MUST DO SO WITHOUT ATTACKING OR JUSTIFYING YOUR BEHAVIOR. THIS IS FROM THEIR PERSPECTIVE ONLY.
What things did your spouse point out about you that need your attention? How did you handle hearing it? What do you plan to do to improve these areas?
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Shootin 22's
Chris and I have been working on "Dating," again. This month seems to be outdoor themed. My date (a couple weeks ago) was going to the batting cages and out to Red Lobster for dinner. Chris was really surprised. He kind of laughed and then told me it was a cool idea. We had fun and we were both a little sore the next day actually. Chris has never been to Red Lobster before. He ordered the big plate and was excited for the fancy lobster tail. He didn't know how to eat it but he managed. His mom stayed at the house and watched Keldon for us. Soooo nice to get out.
Last Saturday we went out to Finley and left Keldon at my dads house while we took off to Hover for some 22 shootin. I was sort of nervous but liked it. I felt bad because Chris went to all the work to get stuff ready and I think he was excited but I was kind of a bum. I had a super bad headache and trying to focus with the scope made my brain hurt. We brought our binoculars and watched each other try and hit different targets. It would probably have helped if our guns were sited in. I am itching for a 22 pistol now.
Last Saturday we went out to Finley and left Keldon at my dads house while we took off to Hover for some 22 shootin. I was sort of nervous but liked it. I felt bad because Chris went to all the work to get stuff ready and I think he was excited but I was kind of a bum. I had a super bad headache and trying to focus with the scope made my brain hurt. We brought our binoculars and watched each other try and hit different targets. It would probably have helped if our guns were sited in. I am itching for a 22 pistol now.
Bye Bye Breastfeeding....Hello Bottle
I have officially given up breastfeeding. Keldon was eating anywhere from and hour to two hours and still needing topped off. At first he we were doing good and then after a growth spurt I think my body never caught up. I was getting frustrated because I wasn't getting any sleep, and when I had to give him a bottle my milk supply was getting messed up and in the mean time everything was stressing me out. I have always been the kind of person that would "definitely breastfeed no matter what." Well, I told myself each week to try and make it another week and my goal was to make it at least 6 weeks. It has been nice to have more freedom and he is definitely happier.I can leave him with someone and actually feel relaxed that I don't need to run to him every time my milk lets down. It is bitter sweet though, the whole trading breastfeeding for bottle. I miss it actually. I love having him snuggled up close to me and looking at him. Now that we are giving him a bottle and he still takes an hour to an hour and half to eat, I can't believe I made it as far as I did. He seems to have his dad's temperament, easy going and in no rush at all. While it is an admirable quality..... it's quite annoying to a new mommy trying to learn and master the art of Patience and breastfeeding at 3 a.m. Keldon weighed 10 lbs 14 oz this week and is getting so big. Everybody tells you they grow fast and you know it is true but it doesn't really hit you until you go from newborn diapers to size 1 or when his newborn clothes only fit him if you stretch the necks out and pull them up over their shoulders to fit. Another good sign that they are growing is when your arm goes asleep feeding them. He is so stinkin cute. He is starting to smile and and has a little laugh I have heard a few times. I have been at my sister's house a few times in the past couple weeks and it is so fun to see her kids interact with the baby. They call him BABY KELDON and eagerly wash their hands so they can be next to hold him. A while back, the kids were all examining baby's hands and feet and commenting on all his little fingernails and so on. The oldest girl Whitney said, " Mom.... how come Keldon's toes are all mixed up?" We cracked up over that. His left foot has a couple funny toes. One overlaps the other and is kind of crooked looking. Chris keeps freaking out that they are going to stay that way and has made a couple suggestions of correcting them, all in which I am totally opposed to. They are just fine the way they are, mixed up or not!! Here are some of the latest pictures. Be sure to check out the toes and don't mind the flaky feet. Keldon always falls asleep in the car and always has his feet stuck out at the end of his car seat.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Day Four: Love is Thoughtful
Love thinks. It's not a mindless feeling that rides on waves of emotion and falls asleep mentally. It keeps busy in thought, knowing that loving thoughts precede loving actions.
TODAYS DARE: CONTACT YOUR SPOUSE SOMETIME DURING THE BUSINESS OF THE DAY. HAVE NO AGENDA OTHER THAN ASKING HOW HE OR SHE IS DOING AND IF THERE IS ANYTHING YOU COULD DO FOR THEM.
What did you learn about yourself or your spouse by doing this today? How could this become a more natural, routine, and genuinely helpful part of your lifestyle?
TODAYS DARE: CONTACT YOUR SPOUSE SOMETIME DURING THE BUSINESS OF THE DAY. HAVE NO AGENDA OTHER THAN ASKING HOW HE OR SHE IS DOING AND IF THERE IS ANYTHING YOU COULD DO FOR THEM.
What did you learn about yourself or your spouse by doing this today? How could this become a more natural, routine, and genuinely helpful part of your lifestyle?
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Love is not Selfish
Day 3
Be Devoted to each other in love; giver preference to one another in honor. --Romans 12:10
Todays Dare: Whatever you put your time , energy, and money into will become important to you. It's hard to care for something you are not investing in. Along with restraining from negative comments, buy your spouse something today that says, "I was thinking of you today."
What did you choose to give your spouse? What happend when you gave it?
Be Devoted to each other in love; giver preference to one another in honor. --Romans 12:10
Todays Dare: Whatever you put your time , energy, and money into will become important to you. It's hard to care for something you are not investing in. Along with restraining from negative comments, buy your spouse something today that says, "I was thinking of you today."
What did you choose to give your spouse? What happend when you gave it?
Friday, June 12, 2009
Day Two: Love is Kind
Kindness is love in action. If patience is how love reacts in order to minimize a negative circumstance, kindness is how lover acts to maximize a positive circumstance. Patience avoids a problem; kindness creates a blessing. One is preventive, the other provocative. These tow sides of love are the cornerstones on which many of the other attributes we will discuss are built. Love makes you kind. And kindness makes you likable. When you're kind, people want to be around you. They see you as being good to them and good for them. Four ingredients to kindness: Gentleness, Helpfulness, Willingness, and Initiative.
Today's Dare: IN ADDITION TO SAYING NOTHING NEGATIVE TO YOUR SPOUSE AGAIN TODAY, DO AT LEAST ONE UNEXPECTED GESTURE AS AN ACT OF KINDNESS.
What discoveries about love did you make today? What specifically did you do in this dare? How did you show kindness?
Today's Dare: IN ADDITION TO SAYING NOTHING NEGATIVE TO YOUR SPOUSE AGAIN TODAY, DO AT LEAST ONE UNEXPECTED GESTURE AS AN ACT OF KINDNESS.
What discoveries about love did you make today? What specifically did you do in this dare? How did you show kindness?
Thursday, June 11, 2009
The Love Dare
I have been struggling for a while to be truly happy with myself and with my marriage. I am not one to blog about really personal things and I don't like my true feelings exposed but I think it is important to share because no one's marriage is perfect and anyone else that feels this way should get on board with what I am about to share. Our bishop challenged my husband and I to watch the movie fireproof a while back. It is a pretty corny (horrible acting) christian movie about a couple who's marriage is hanging on a thread and they fix it with this LOVE DARE the husbands father gives him. The movie is paired with a Love Dare bible study and the Love Dare Book. In the movie, the husband takes this dare which is 40 days long and each day has a different step to practice unconditional love. Yesterday I was out shopping and I saw this book, and desperate for a change decided to buy the book. I read the back..... "The LOVE DARE is a 40 day challenge for husbands and wives to understand and practice unconditional love. Whether your marriage is hanging by a thread or healthy and strong, The LOVE DARE is a journey you need to take. It's time to learn the keys to finding true intimacy and developing a dynamic marriage. Take the Dare." When my husband got home I told him I bought him a book today and set it on the couch. Later I noticed him thumbing through it and I know he remembers it from the movie. Last night during a late feeding with Keldon I opened the book and started to read the intro and the Day One's love dare. I started to cry. I NEED TO TAKE THIS DARE What if I did it as well as him? Wouldn't that be twice as much unconditional love? Even if he doesn't get on board I know that my effort to be more loving won't hurt anyone and may even be enough to make all the difference in the world.
"Unconditional Love is eagerly promised at weddings, but rarely practiced in real life. As a result, romantic hopes are often replaced with disappointment in the home." This is where I am right now. Since I have had Keldon, I have realized how mundane my life has become over the last few years, especially in my marriage. I am constantly nagging at my husband to be better and do this and do that and getting frustrated when I don't get the results I want, all the while becoming crusty and cynical and hard to be around. I am a very needy person. I hate to be alone and always have to have something going on or I swear I will die of boredom..... but I rarely go out and do something. I admit that I am some what of a hermit because I am scared of failure and I have become self conscience about stupid things. I am whiny and have the tendency to complain about anything I feel like isn't just the way I think it should be. This all presents a very big problem.............and unhappy home, and and unhappy husband. As much as I hate to admit it, if momma ain't happy ain't nobody happy. I have always hated this saying because it puts so much pressure on us as women. My attitude has always been, " That is not fair!" When things go wrong in my house and when I can't constantly be miss peppy happy go lucky optimistic, I feel like everything is going to fall apart because I'm not holding it together. You can't change anyone besides yourself, not your husband and not your children. All you can do is worry about yourself and do the best you can be. That is the hardest concept I have ever had to learn. I have struggled with it my entire life. My mother was the best example of selflessness and charity I have ever known. She wrote me a letter before she died and in it she wrote, "Let your husband know how much you love him everyday in some small way. Try to overlook his faults and compliment him on his good traits. Be the best you can be but don't criticize him. Let him see your example." She also always told me "Just love him Melanie, just love him." That is the secret. This concept held my parents marriage together for almost 45 years. My mother was a saint and that is what I need to work to be. Less critical, more forgiving, more loving, less selfless and more charitable. When I got married I made a promise to be there for better and for worse.
I am crazy for taking the time to type this but I want to share a little to get you into this book--
The opening page reads:
Receive this as a warning. This forty day journey cannot be taken lightly. It is a challenging and often difficult process, but an incredibly fulfilling one. To take this dare requires a resolute mind and steadfast determination. It is not meant to be sampled or briefly tested, and those who quit early will forfeit the greatest benefits. If you will commit to a day at a time for forty days, the results could change your life and your marriage. Consider it a dare, from others you have done it before you. The scriptures say that God designed and created marriage as a good thing. It is a beautiful and priceless gift. He used marriage to help us eliminated loneliness, multiply effectiveness, establish families, raise children, enjoy life, and bless us with relational intimacy. But beyond this, marriage also shoes us our need to grow and deal with our own issues and self-centerdness through the help of a lifelong partner. If we are teachable, we will learn to do this one thing that is most important in marriage---to love. This powerful union provides the path for you to learn how to love another imperfect person unconditionally. It is wonderful. It is difficult. It is life challenging.
This book is about love. It's about learning and daring to live a life filled with loving relationships. And this journey begins with the person who is closest to you: your spouse. May God bless you as you being this adventure. But be sure of this: it will take courage. If you accept this dare, you must take the view that instead of following your heart, you are choosing to
lead it. The world says to follow your heart, but if you are not leading it, then someone or something else is. The Bible says, "the heart is more deceitful than all else." (Jeremiah 17:9) and it Will always pursue that which feels right at the moment.
We dare you to think differently---choosing instead to lead your heart toward that which is the best in the long run. This is the key to lasting, fulfilling relationships.
The Love Dare journey is not a process of trying to change your spouse to be the person you want them to be. You've no doubt already discovered that efforts to change your husband or wife have ended in failure and frustration. Rather, this is a journey of exploring and demonstrating genuine love, even when your desire is dry and your motives are low. The truth is, love is a decision and not just a feeling. It is selfless, sacrificial, transformational. And when love is truly demonstrated as it was intended, your relationship is more likely to change for the better. Each day of this journey will containing three very important elements: First, a unique aspect of love will be discussed. Read each one of these carefully and be open to a new understanding of what it means to genuinely love someone. Second, you will be given a specific dare to do for your spouse. Some will be easy and some very challenging. But take each dare seriously , and be creative and courageous enough to attempt it. Don't be discouraged if outside situations prevent you from accomplishing a specific dare. Just pick back up as soon as you can and proceed with the journey. Last, you will be given journal space to log what you are learning and doing an d how your spouse is responding. It is important that you take advantage of this space to capture what is happening to both you and your mate along the way. These notes will record your progress and should become priceless to you in the future. Remember you have the responsibility to guide your heart. Don't give up and don't get discouraged. Resolve to lead your heart and to make it through to the end. Learning to truly love is one of the most important things you will ever do.
Now these three things remain: Faith, Hope and Love, But the greatest of these is Love . 1 Corinthians 13:13
DAY ONE---LOVE IS PATIENT ---- Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love---Ephesians 4:2
Love works. It is life's most powerful motivator and has far greater depth and meaning than most people realize. It always does what is best for others and can empower us to face the greatest of problems. We are born with a lifelong thirst for love. Our hearts desperately need it like our lungs need oxygen. Love changes our motivation for living. Relationships become more meaningful with it. No marriage is successful without it. Love is built on two pillars that best define what it is. Those pillars are patience and kindness. All other characteristics of love are extensions of these two attributes. Ant that's where your dare with begin. With patience.
Love will inspire you to become a patient person. When you choose to be patient, you respond in positive way to a negative situation. You are slow to anger. You choose to have a long fuse instead of a quick temper. Rather than being restless and demanding, love helps you settle down and begin extending mercy to those around you. Patients brings an internal calm during and external storm.
No on likes to be around an impatient person. it cause you to overreact in angry, foolish, and regrettable ways.The irony of anger toward a wrongful action is that is spawns new wrongs of its own. Anger almost never makes things better. In fact, it usually generates additional problems. But patience stops problems in their tracks More than biting your lip, more than clapping a hand over your mouth, patience is a deep breath. It clears the air. It strips foolishness from whipping is scorpion tail all over the room. It is a choice to control your emotions rather than allowing your emotions to control you, and shows discretion instead of returning evil for evil. If your spouse offends you, do you quickly retaliate, or do you stay under control.? Do you find that anger is your emotional default when treated unfairly? If so you are spreading poison rather than medicine. Anger is usually caused when the strong desire for something is mixed with disappointment of grief. You don't get what you want and you start heating up inside. It is often an emotional reaction that flows our of our own selfishness, foolishness or evil motives.
Patience however makes us wise. It doesn't rush to judgment but listens to what the other person is saying. Patience stands in the doorway where anger is clawing to burst in, but waits to see the whole picture before passing judgment. The Bible says, "He who is slow to anger has great understanding but he who is quick-tempered exalts folly" ( Proverbs 14:29)
As sure as a lock of patience will turn your home into a war zone, the practice of patience will foster peach and quiet :A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but the slow to anger calms a dispute" ( Proverbs 15:18) Statements like these from the Bible book of proverbs are clear principals with timeless relevance. Patience is where love meets wisdom,m. And every marriage needs that combination to stay healthily.
Patience helped you give your spouse permission to be human. It understands that everyone fails. When a mistake is made, it chooses to give them more time than they serve to correct it. It gives you the ability to hold on during the tough times in your relationship rather than bailing out under pressure. But can your spouse count on having a patient wife or husband to deal with? Can she know that locking her keys in the car will be met by your understanding rather than a demeaning lectures that makes her feel like a child? Can she know that cheering during the last seconds of a football game won't invite a loud-mouthed laundry list of ways he should be spending his time? It turns out that few people are as hard to live with as an impatient person. What what the tone and volume of your home be if you tried this biblical approach. "See that no one repays another with evil for evil, but always seek after that which is good for one another." (1 Thessalonians 5:15) Few of us do patience very well and none of us do it naturally. But wise men and women will pursue it as an essential ingredient to their marriage relationships. That's a good starting point to demonstrate true love. This Love Dare Journey is a process, and the first thing you must resolve to posses is patience. Think of it as a marathon, not a sprint. But it's a race worth running.
TODAY'S DARE- THE FIRST PART OF THIS DARE IS FAIRLY SIMPLE. ALTHOUGH LOVE IS COMMUNICATED IN A NUMBER OF WAYS, OUR WORDS OFTEN REFLECT THE CONDITION OF OUR HEART. FOR THE NEXT DAY, RESOLVE TO DEMONSTRATE PATIENCE AND SAY NOTHING NEGATIVE TO YOUR SPOUSE AT ALL. IF THE TEMPTATION ARISES, CHOSE NOT TO SAY ANYTHING. IT IS BETTER TO HOLD YOUR TONGUE THAN TO SAY SOMETHING YOU WILL REGRET.
Did anything happened today to cause anger toward your mate? Were you tempted to think disapproving thoughts and to let them come out in words?
Pretty amazing and powerful stuff huh? I can't wait to see how this works. Let me know what you think, if you want to know more. I will post just the daily dare each day if you are interested. I want everyone to be able to experience this opportunity. STAY TUNED
"Unconditional Love is eagerly promised at weddings, but rarely practiced in real life. As a result, romantic hopes are often replaced with disappointment in the home." This is where I am right now. Since I have had Keldon, I have realized how mundane my life has become over the last few years, especially in my marriage. I am constantly nagging at my husband to be better and do this and do that and getting frustrated when I don't get the results I want, all the while becoming crusty and cynical and hard to be around. I am a very needy person. I hate to be alone and always have to have something going on or I swear I will die of boredom..... but I rarely go out and do something. I admit that I am some what of a hermit because I am scared of failure and I have become self conscience about stupid things. I am whiny and have the tendency to complain about anything I feel like isn't just the way I think it should be. This all presents a very big problem.............and unhappy home, and and unhappy husband. As much as I hate to admit it, if momma ain't happy ain't nobody happy. I have always hated this saying because it puts so much pressure on us as women. My attitude has always been, " That is not fair!" When things go wrong in my house and when I can't constantly be miss peppy happy go lucky optimistic, I feel like everything is going to fall apart because I'm not holding it together. You can't change anyone besides yourself, not your husband and not your children. All you can do is worry about yourself and do the best you can be. That is the hardest concept I have ever had to learn. I have struggled with it my entire life. My mother was the best example of selflessness and charity I have ever known. She wrote me a letter before she died and in it she wrote, "Let your husband know how much you love him everyday in some small way. Try to overlook his faults and compliment him on his good traits. Be the best you can be but don't criticize him. Let him see your example." She also always told me "Just love him Melanie, just love him." That is the secret. This concept held my parents marriage together for almost 45 years. My mother was a saint and that is what I need to work to be. Less critical, more forgiving, more loving, less selfless and more charitable. When I got married I made a promise to be there for better and for worse.
I am crazy for taking the time to type this but I want to share a little to get you into this book--
The opening page reads:
Receive this as a warning. This forty day journey cannot be taken lightly. It is a challenging and often difficult process, but an incredibly fulfilling one. To take this dare requires a resolute mind and steadfast determination. It is not meant to be sampled or briefly tested, and those who quit early will forfeit the greatest benefits. If you will commit to a day at a time for forty days, the results could change your life and your marriage. Consider it a dare, from others you have done it before you. The scriptures say that God designed and created marriage as a good thing. It is a beautiful and priceless gift. He used marriage to help us eliminated loneliness, multiply effectiveness, establish families, raise children, enjoy life, and bless us with relational intimacy. But beyond this, marriage also shoes us our need to grow and deal with our own issues and self-centerdness through the help of a lifelong partner. If we are teachable, we will learn to do this one thing that is most important in marriage---to love. This powerful union provides the path for you to learn how to love another imperfect person unconditionally. It is wonderful. It is difficult. It is life challenging.
This book is about love. It's about learning and daring to live a life filled with loving relationships. And this journey begins with the person who is closest to you: your spouse. May God bless you as you being this adventure. But be sure of this: it will take courage. If you accept this dare, you must take the view that instead of following your heart, you are choosing to
lead it. The world says to follow your heart, but if you are not leading it, then someone or something else is. The Bible says, "the heart is more deceitful than all else." (Jeremiah 17:9) and it Will always pursue that which feels right at the moment.
We dare you to think differently---choosing instead to lead your heart toward that which is the best in the long run. This is the key to lasting, fulfilling relationships.
The Love Dare journey is not a process of trying to change your spouse to be the person you want them to be. You've no doubt already discovered that efforts to change your husband or wife have ended in failure and frustration. Rather, this is a journey of exploring and demonstrating genuine love, even when your desire is dry and your motives are low. The truth is, love is a decision and not just a feeling. It is selfless, sacrificial, transformational. And when love is truly demonstrated as it was intended, your relationship is more likely to change for the better. Each day of this journey will containing three very important elements: First, a unique aspect of love will be discussed. Read each one of these carefully and be open to a new understanding of what it means to genuinely love someone. Second, you will be given a specific dare to do for your spouse. Some will be easy and some very challenging. But take each dare seriously , and be creative and courageous enough to attempt it. Don't be discouraged if outside situations prevent you from accomplishing a specific dare. Just pick back up as soon as you can and proceed with the journey. Last, you will be given journal space to log what you are learning and doing an d how your spouse is responding. It is important that you take advantage of this space to capture what is happening to both you and your mate along the way. These notes will record your progress and should become priceless to you in the future. Remember you have the responsibility to guide your heart. Don't give up and don't get discouraged. Resolve to lead your heart and to make it through to the end. Learning to truly love is one of the most important things you will ever do.
Now these three things remain: Faith, Hope and Love, But the greatest of these is Love . 1 Corinthians 13:13
DAY ONE---LOVE IS PATIENT ---- Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love---Ephesians 4:2
Love works. It is life's most powerful motivator and has far greater depth and meaning than most people realize. It always does what is best for others and can empower us to face the greatest of problems. We are born with a lifelong thirst for love. Our hearts desperately need it like our lungs need oxygen. Love changes our motivation for living. Relationships become more meaningful with it. No marriage is successful without it. Love is built on two pillars that best define what it is. Those pillars are patience and kindness. All other characteristics of love are extensions of these two attributes. Ant that's where your dare with begin. With patience.
Love will inspire you to become a patient person. When you choose to be patient, you respond in positive way to a negative situation. You are slow to anger. You choose to have a long fuse instead of a quick temper. Rather than being restless and demanding, love helps you settle down and begin extending mercy to those around you. Patients brings an internal calm during and external storm.
No on likes to be around an impatient person. it cause you to overreact in angry, foolish, and regrettable ways.The irony of anger toward a wrongful action is that is spawns new wrongs of its own. Anger almost never makes things better. In fact, it usually generates additional problems. But patience stops problems in their tracks More than biting your lip, more than clapping a hand over your mouth, patience is a deep breath. It clears the air. It strips foolishness from whipping is scorpion tail all over the room. It is a choice to control your emotions rather than allowing your emotions to control you, and shows discretion instead of returning evil for evil. If your spouse offends you, do you quickly retaliate, or do you stay under control.? Do you find that anger is your emotional default when treated unfairly? If so you are spreading poison rather than medicine. Anger is usually caused when the strong desire for something is mixed with disappointment of grief. You don't get what you want and you start heating up inside. It is often an emotional reaction that flows our of our own selfishness, foolishness or evil motives.
Patience however makes us wise. It doesn't rush to judgment but listens to what the other person is saying. Patience stands in the doorway where anger is clawing to burst in, but waits to see the whole picture before passing judgment. The Bible says, "He who is slow to anger has great understanding but he who is quick-tempered exalts folly" ( Proverbs 14:29)
As sure as a lock of patience will turn your home into a war zone, the practice of patience will foster peach and quiet :A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but the slow to anger calms a dispute" ( Proverbs 15:18) Statements like these from the Bible book of proverbs are clear principals with timeless relevance. Patience is where love meets wisdom,m. And every marriage needs that combination to stay healthily.
Patience helped you give your spouse permission to be human. It understands that everyone fails. When a mistake is made, it chooses to give them more time than they serve to correct it. It gives you the ability to hold on during the tough times in your relationship rather than bailing out under pressure. But can your spouse count on having a patient wife or husband to deal with? Can she know that locking her keys in the car will be met by your understanding rather than a demeaning lectures that makes her feel like a child? Can she know that cheering during the last seconds of a football game won't invite a loud-mouthed laundry list of ways he should be spending his time? It turns out that few people are as hard to live with as an impatient person. What what the tone and volume of your home be if you tried this biblical approach. "See that no one repays another with evil for evil, but always seek after that which is good for one another." (1 Thessalonians 5:15) Few of us do patience very well and none of us do it naturally. But wise men and women will pursue it as an essential ingredient to their marriage relationships. That's a good starting point to demonstrate true love. This Love Dare Journey is a process, and the first thing you must resolve to posses is patience. Think of it as a marathon, not a sprint. But it's a race worth running.
TODAY'S DARE- THE FIRST PART OF THIS DARE IS FAIRLY SIMPLE. ALTHOUGH LOVE IS COMMUNICATED IN A NUMBER OF WAYS, OUR WORDS OFTEN REFLECT THE CONDITION OF OUR HEART. FOR THE NEXT DAY, RESOLVE TO DEMONSTRATE PATIENCE AND SAY NOTHING NEGATIVE TO YOUR SPOUSE AT ALL. IF THE TEMPTATION ARISES, CHOSE NOT TO SAY ANYTHING. IT IS BETTER TO HOLD YOUR TONGUE THAN TO SAY SOMETHING YOU WILL REGRET.
Did anything happened today to cause anger toward your mate? Were you tempted to think disapproving thoughts and to let them come out in words?
Pretty amazing and powerful stuff huh? I can't wait to see how this works. Let me know what you think, if you want to know more. I will post just the daily dare each day if you are interested. I want everyone to be able to experience this opportunity. STAY TUNED
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