update on my mom

This is a re-post from moms blog.. Its hard to write 2 things.Sherri and her husband Darin are coming tomorrow to stay with Mom. She is leaving her kids home and her husband will stay until Sunday and then go back home. We have had several Birthdays this week. Shawn's was Sunday, then moms sister Vera, Gracie -(Stevens youngest) today, dads is the 8th, and the oldest grandson Kolby (Monte's) is 20 on the 9th I think.Mom is getting weaker each day. She spends most of the time resting and doesn't have very much energy to talk. She gets worn out pretty easy. Today she spend most of the time sleeping but was up to the dinner table tonight and was alert for company. No nausea today either! We caught it early and she never did get sick. We are draining her fluid everyday now so she can breath a little easier and not fight it so much. It has been between 250-400 ml each time which is a lot, About 2 liters a week. The hospice nurse doesn't think she will live much longer, maybe a little over a week. It has been quite and emotional roller coaster for all of us. I tend to report on the blog so matter-o-factly because it is too hard to talk about the mushy stuff. All of us kids have tried to spend time with her. It gets hard when you have a family and a job and a life to continue on living. I feel so blessed to be as free as I am and have the ability to spend a lot of time with her. I have been trying to organize all her pictures and get things straightened out so she feels good about leaving her house in order. She had some sisters from the ward come and sing hymns to her today. It was really sweet and I was glad to figure out mom and dads digital camera can video record so I got it on the camera. She really enjoyed it. It was the best part of her day. Last night Brother Macky and Brother Mickelson came to visit and dad the the brethren were able to give mom a blessing. She has good feelings, a good attitude about passing. She has reassured us she is okay to go. Brother Harold Sanders and Bishop Law came to visit mom tonight and gave dad a blessing before they left.

I am so thankful for the gospel and the things that it teaches us and for the many blessings that come from obeying the commandments and living our best. It is amazing how much your testimony grows in times like these. People always say that and I don't know how many times I have said it myself but truly I have never had a more firm testimony in my entire life that my Savior loves me and knows what I am going through than right now. There are too many things that "just work out," it amazes me. The other night, I wanted to get away and get a break. My husband and I went out on the boat around 8pm. We were going to go up river and float down while we went fishing in the dark and just relax. As we were putting the boat in, I had my purse flung over my shoulder and was waiting at the dock to catch the boat as it came into the water. As I was bending down to catch it I heard a small splash and watched my hot pink phone float quickly to the bottom. I was so mad and sad and stressed all at the same time I just froze. About 5 minutes goes by and Chris came down the dock. I said, "Um guess what honey? I just dropped my phone in the river." He got in the boat, grabbed a pair of goggles, went down the boat ramp to the spot I dropped it and dove under. Not only did he find my phone but our digital camera as well, which I apparently forgot was in my purse and didn't know I had dropped it because all I saw was pink. 2 days prior, I took about 100 pictures including many of mom, off the camera and saved them to the computer. That was a miracle in its self. I took my phone and the camera apart and let it dry all night and the next day. Around noon the next day, my phone turned on and to make a long story short, after about 3-4 times turning it on and off, some blow drying action and a prayer, my phone works absolutely perfect. The camera turns on at this point at looks as though it will work but I need to charge the batteries. The same day, I bounced a check for my office rent and was freaking out that I had no money because I have taken so much time off and am waiting for some insurance reimbursement checks. I went into town and while driving by my office decided to check my mail. I received a check for the amount of my bounced check, overdraft fee and a little extra for a cushion. The next morning, my youngest brother Kent and my nephew Kolby were driving to work together at about 4:30 am and Kolby fell asleep at the wheel, crossed the left lane of traffic on the freeway, drove into a ditch, through a fence and barely missed a tree. The air bags deployed and the car got scratched a little on the side. The boys were safe and neither one was hurt. I would say that my family has been blessed. In hard times, in bitter times, we are still able to taste the sweet. That is what keeps me going. Every night that I get in bed and am too tired to think I seem to always remember I have forgotten to say my prayers. I want to just say them laying there but feel guilty so I try to convince myself to get up and kneel in bed. When my mom was a little stronger and before she was in the hospital bed, I would get her all ready for bed and we would sit and talk a little until her sleeping pill would kick in. One time she was just about asleep and then she sat up and said, I still need to say my prayers. She got up, walked to the end of her bed and knelt down to pray. Ever since that night, I get my lazy bum out of my bed when I have that fight with myself and I kneel down. She has cancer... If she can do it, I can do it. It means a lot more and it is humbling. I will be forever thankful for my moms good attitude and righteous example. One day I had a headache and I snuggled up next to her in her bed and she started to rub my head. That is what I will miss about my mom, her selfless attitude and her giving little heart. Last night when I left the house she asked my if I would help her write some thank you cards. The woman is dying, and she is thinking about how she needs to get her thank you cards out! She is amazing. I am pretty sure I only got half of mine down for my wedding.