Month 1

I thought I would take a minute while Keldon was content and swinging in his swing to update a little on my life as a new mommy. IT IS WORK! I knew it would be hard and that I would be tired but I don't think I really think I understood how draining it would really be. The first week home is a teaser. Keldon nursed so good, burped within a minute and slept so good. I thought I had a perfect baby. I told my sisters that I think I got lucky and that he was so easy and perfect. Then week 2 hit. Ha ha, Reality set in. The adrenaline wears off, my live in nanny (Sister Sherri) left, Keldon had to go to the hospital for a night for biliruben treatment and got nipple confusion when they took him off breast milk, and then everything hit me. I had to get to appointments at a certain time which also seem to be when he was hungry, and grocery shopping is a whole different blog post. I will have to say, that I am not naive though. Before I had him, every time I would go grocery shopping and was irritated and in a hurry I would tell myself to relax and enjoy the time alone. I even estimated how many childless trips I had left when I first got pregnant. I go to winco at least 2x a month x 10 months of pregnancy. Each time I went I would do the count down and force myself to enjoy shopping without all the hassle. Around week three I had a really hard time. I made it through the first two weeks without a breakdown but week 3 was the end of that. Keldon was really fussy and gassy and overall just irritated. I would do okay during the day if I got to sleep a little in the morning with him but during night feedings I would get so frustrated. It was hot in the house, he would take forever to eat and then spit up because he wouldn't burp and then fuss because he was able to eat fast enough which to me was abnormal but to anyone who has had a baby is just a memory, "Oh, I remember those days, it goes by so fast," "If you can just make it to 6 weeks, it gets better..." I'm happy to say I am on my way. The end of week 3 and on to this week has been a lot better. I just have to remind myself that he depends on me and that getting frusterated and worked up only makes me feel more hopeless, plus it drains my energy and heaven knows I only have so much of that. I have really been missing my mom lately too which has sort of been hard for me to deal with. I try not to let it overwhelm me and take over my life but sometimes it feels good just to have a quick little cry. It seems to hit me more when things are really hard or when something great has just happended. The highs and the lows....I just want to share stuff with her. I wish I could see her holding my sweet little baby and hear her voice just once tell me how precious he really is. I went out to my dads the other day and had my step mom spoil me. I called and told her if she cooked me up some good breakfast I would trade her a sweet little man to hold and kiss on for a while. After I ate, and nursed Keldon, we took a nap together in what used to be my parents bedroom. I laid on the bed and just stared at my baby and couldn't help but cry as I remembered not long ago that my mom and I laid in that same bed and she told me how pretty I was... her little baby girl. We use to snuggle in her bed when she was sick and she would tell me stories, we would share stuff and just talk. Most of the time, even though she was sick she would be rubbing my head or playing with my hair. The other night Keldon was throwing a little fit while I was trying to nurse him and I started to rub his little head and around his temples the Grandma Carver/Mom way and he fell asleep.... Oh I miss my mom so much dangit. I went to her grave yesterday to bring flowers for memorial day. When she was picking out her funeral stuff, she made a comment at the family meeting about making sure we had her headstone set before memorial day at least. We all had a laugh about it. I wasn't able to go up to the cemetery on mothers day so I had to get up there yesterday. Chris and Keldon were with me and it seemed so surreal, me having my own little family. I was reading Tammy Ottley's blog the other day and she posted a cute post about how she just realized she was all grown up. When did she grow up, she has a car and a house and a husband and so on. I have felt that way since I had Keldon. I got his insurance card in the mail the other day addressed to Keldon Cain, that is just weird, I have a son! It really hit me when I took him in for his circumcision and felt like crying because I'm sad that he has to feel pain, or getting a pku lab done while I'm holding him and he is bawling. That is when you feel like a mom.

Funny and Cute little Keldon things:

He grunts and squeaks all the time and is an especially noisy sleeper

He loves his swing and likes to be around a lot of noise. If he falls asleep with noise or in his swing and you turn either one off, he squeaks and grunts and wakes up when you stop it or move him.

He screams when you change him but has soon as you snap his onsie on he completely goes limp and calms down.

He is a super loud burper and a loud little tooter too

He loves to have his hands open wide and always holds them straight out and stiff like a karate chop. When he nurses he either has a hand on me or on his face or next to his head by his ear.

He can hold his head up and started trying since he was 2 days old.

He has strong little calf and thigh muscles and even has little defined forearm and back muscles. When he has a bubble in his tummy he turns from side to side and throws his head back when you put him up to burp him he always brings his knees up to his chests and pushes off of you and fusses. As soon as he burps or spits up he will lay flat and stick his legs straight out and point his toes. That is when you know he is content.
He likes to be held close chest to chest on his side and bounced up and down if you are trying to calm him down or put him to sleep.

He doesn't mind taking a bath and likes to have a wash cloth covering his tummy to keep him warm.
When he is waiting for me to get situated to nurse and /or is hungry, he sucks on the back of his hand or on his forearm.

He is always pretty content and alert between 6 and 11 o'clock feedings and snuggles on daddy's chest when he gets home from work.