Decisions

I usually don't have a hard time making decisions and once I set my mind to something I am pretty set. However, having a child is a little different. I can make decisions fairly easy..... wow a cookie for me! BUT I HATE CHANGE. My birth plan changed a month ago when we were booted out of our house, moved in a few days and my blood pressure went up. Yesterday I was at my doctors office for 3 hours on the monitor and talking with him about my situation. I can be induced safely at 38 weeks, with no huge concern for the baby's lungs being underdeveloped and so on. He is measuring very small, in the 9% rate for his gestational age and the ultrasound shows he hasn't been gaining weight. So basically he is okay, not struggling but not growing either. I am sort of a walking incubator. If we continue to wait (STAY PREGNANT!) I will have to continue non-stress tests a couple times a week, do blood work, monitor my blood pressure and stay on bed rest until A) something goes wrong and they have to induce right away or B) I magically go into labor on my own. A and B are both unknown and if A or B happens, there are just as many and more risks than being induced under a controlled environment in which I am not completely freaked out. Because my ultrasound shows Keldon is size wise right now, about 34 weeks instead of almost 38 and isn't gaining, we don't know if my placenta will be sufficient enough to get him through delivery, or why he is even small in the first place.....ladeeee da. There are too many unknowns and it freaks me out. SO.... I think I will just try to be induced Friday so I know what is coming and can try to be more relaxed and he can grow when he comes out. Some babies do better on the outside I guess. I am just frustrated because they can't really tell me why I have a uterine growth restricted baby, aren't even really worried about it and its safe to have him at 38 weeks. Chris thinks I should wait it out and just see how my blood pressure is and so on but I feel more comfortable having him now and not waiting to SEE if something goes wrong, or trust that my body will start on its own. Especially since he is small, you'd think my body would try to hold on to him longer. After talking to 10 or 12 different people yesterday, I have decided to try it Friday. I am 75% effaced right now and 1/2 centimeter dilated. The dilation is the tricky part with inductions because if your body isn't dilated the induction is longer and harder on you. They have medicine to help ripen your cervix and help you dilate. We are going to try that and if I am dilated enough, he may be able to strip my membranes. We will go to that point and try.... If it works than awesome, If it doesn't I can wait a while and try later I suppose. My sisters and my mom usually have their babies in less than 8 hours so I praying for the good genetics.